I still love you
by I-breathe-writing
Summary: Matthew just got word his brother, Alfred, has been killed in war. What will he do? How will Gilbert react when he was supposed to propose on the night everything went south. How will it end? COMPLETE.WARNING: Character death, triggers for: Self harm, drinking etc.


Matthew stood in his room holding the note he so greatly hated. His brother was dead... "Alfred… My… He's dead?" He read the note for about the hundredth time.

''Dear Mr. Williams,

I'm sorry to in from you that ALFRED JONES has been declared KILLED in combat. Funeral services will be held in LONDON, ENGLAND from his wishes. Sorry for your loss.

-America government.''

No phone call? Just a… letter? His brother wasn't coming back for the holidays anymore. Not even to be buried. Alfred was the only one who ever noticed, now he was... He was gone. "Non…" It was starting to sink in. The death, the letter, the quiet, and now… The loneliness. "Alfred!" Matthew fell to the ground, crying his violet eyes out. The only reason he stopped self-harm was because of his brother, Alfred was the only one there for him. Unable to take the news Matthew took out his old friend; the razor. Countless scares were on his wrist and body from self mutilation at 10 years old.

He brought it to his skin and began to tear away; 19 times. 19 years his brother lived. Only nineteen… 19 More without him... 19 more years of pain, and the quiet. Matthew sat in his room, blood starting to clog, its natural defense to the cuts. His veins and arteries have been cut; slashed and torn so many times it was just coming out like a waterfall. "M-Maybe I could see him again…" Just as he heard the living room for open he locked his bedroom door as he heard a certain albino man calling him. "I'm sorry Gilly… I truly am."

Gilbert being the loud and obnoxious twat he was barged in. Tonight he was going to propose to his little birdie. "HALLO?! BIRDIE ARE DU IN HERE?!" Gilbert yelled out, unaware of what was happening upstairs. Sure Matthew was quiet, but usually he would run down the stairs like a child and embrace him. That's what lovers did, right? Going upstairs to find him, he discovered the locked room. Uh-oh. Mattie only did this when he was in his… Sad phase if you know what I mean. "Birdie? Come out, Ich liebe dich! I-ich am here fur jou! Just open the door, bitte!" His accent was thick, but still understandable. He was banging on the door, trying to get in and already was crying. "BITTE! Ich am begging du! Don't do anything drastic!" The crying only got worse.

Matthew began to feel the carpets slosh with his own blood, the yelling on the other side only getting worse. Though, to Matthew it was getting softer and softer. The world became black; He took one last glance of two photos and 2 pieces of paper. One photo was of him and Gilbert. The other was of him and Alfred, and well the note… was the last thing he would ever write, then the other was the last thing he would ever read his brother's name. "Je t'aime Gilbert…" Matthews's body went limp.

Gilbert managed to knock the door down, going straight to his boyfriend. "Nein, nein, nein… Birdie/! Bitte. Bitte be okay!" He was sobbing already making a tunicate for Matthews's arms. The blonds face was white, his breathing… Wasn't there. "Nein… You... Du can't be dead..." His hands were trembling, as he started to perform CPR. "Bitte… Bite." Nothing. Finally it sunk in. Matthew was dead. Looking around he saw two pieces of paper, picking one up him read it._ So that's why he did it… He couldn't stand being without his brother. _"Oh birdie ich could have helped du with this…" Picking up the note Matthew made he started reading.

''_Dear Gilbert,_

_I'm so sorry. I just couldn't stand being without my brother... He was the only family I had left after Papa left after Mama died. Gilbert, I love you so much and it pains me to do this to you. I know it's not fair to you, or anyone but please just don't hate me. I guess I couldn't even keep my own promise of forever and ever right? If you hate me though then okay… I would be to if I were you. Besides you Alfred was the only one who even knew I existed. I'll always love you Gilbert. Je t'aime. Ich liebe dich.  
~-Matthew Williams"_

Gilbert stared at it in horror. He could _never_ hate Matthew, _Ever_. "I could never be mad at you Mattie…" Gilbert went back to the body, "I could never be mad at you... Je t'aime aussi Matthew... Birdie..." Gilbert began to sob again, kissing Matthews body over and over as if it would bring him back to life. That maybe, _just maybe_, if true loves kiss happened like in fairy tales then... It would all be okay...

Everything was going well for them. They could've even had a fairy tale ending, but they're supposed to be fairy tale was ruined by the harsh, blunt and cruel reality. "Mein birdie..." He started to stroke Matthews face. "You're dead and I can't do anything about it." The more he stared at Matthews's bloody pale and cold face the more Matthew looked like… Like a dead person. They say everyone looks peaceful in death, but Matthew just looked...dead. "I should call the coroner."

The day of the funeral everyone showed up. A lot of people gave a speech but when Gilbert went up he had to take a moment to try not to cry. So he stood there for a moment.

", Matthew was amazing. He was the love of my life and the most perfect person I have ever met." He paused to sniffle. "Now he's gone. His brother, Alfred, dead to. His funeral though was in England upon his wishes to be by his love. When Matthew didn't want to be alone, he would be buried alone. I couldn't say I knew what he went through. Hell there has even been times when I have done what he's done, and thought what he thought. But Matthew, excuse me, my Birdie… Was special. He was so simple looking when he was this complicated thing that only I and his brother ever understood." Gilbert sighed, wiping his eyes off. It was raining outside so he was thankful for his lovers sake, and everyone else's, it was inside the church... The church they were supposed to get married in. He looked over to the casket that held his once lover... Still is his lover though.

"He's my birdie. Ever since my time of 3 years with him, I can never love anyone else like how I loved him. If I ever do date again, that person better pretty damn special because Matthew was just… He was just everything a man could ask for." Gilbert smiled a bit, "And to think the world won't have an amazing, freaking person it's horrible. Matthew was amazing. He was my love and my birdie. Words can't even describe how much I love him. I always have and always will. So it's not a goodbye... More of a...see you later. Love you birdie..."

Everyone was crying by now, but Gilbert was a mess. Before they closed the casket, Gilbert slipped a ring on Matthews finger; the wedding ring. Then kisses his head, "I was going to propose. I know you would have said yes anyways. See you soon my birdie." Gilberts kissed him on the lips one last time and they closed it.

When they brought the casket to the grave they began to lower it, even if it was raining Gilbert and his younger brother still stood there watching it go. Before it was lowered they laid the American, Canadian, and Prussian flag over it. "Gilbert are du okay, bruder?"The albino just wanted to say _"Yes ich bin okay…"_ But ended up crying into Ludwig's shoulder. "Sh, its okay bruder, it really is." That only made things worse, for Gilbert. The only other thing besides his sobs was silence.

A year had passed since Matthews's death and Gilbert hadn't gotten any better. He drank more, never went out except to get beer, and had serious depression. Today was the ugly reminder of Matthews passing. "Oh Matthew I-"Hic. "Never got to tell you happy birthday, hunny." Gilbert sighed, slowly taking another swig of his beer at the bar. The cold liquid went down his throat, burning it from the previous 5 glasses he's had. The bar closed 20 minutes later, and having no way to get home he had to walk…Well stumble.

"GET OUT OF THE ROAD!" Someone yelled at him in a panic, "Why-"Hic. "Should I?!" just as he said that a pair of bright lights overwhelmed him. A car had just hit and killed Gilbert.

The white light was replaced by a field. When he looked up there was a purple and red sky, almost as red as Gilbert's eyes and as purple as Matthews's eyes. Looking closer he saw a pond, with thousands of flowers… Oddly, all of Matthews's favorite flowers. Looking closer, he noticed the figure by the pond picking them. Running over to it he noticed it was… Matthew! Tapping his shoulder, Matthew looked at him. "MATTIE!" "Gil?! Why are you- Non, you're dead aren't you…" "JA I'M DEAD! NOW I CAN BE WITH YOU!"

"But how?"

"A car. It kind of hit me… Then kind of killed me. BUT IT'S OKAY!" Matthew didn't say anything just hugged him, " I missed you so much Gilly!" Gilbert hogged him back. "I missed du too.." Matthew kissed Matthew lovingly for a few minutes ten pulled away, putting their heads together.

"Je t'aime Matthew."

"Ich liebe dich liebe."

A/N: Sorry for any mistakes it was my first story on here, and I guess spell check could have done bad things to it. I hope you like it! OH YEAH. THE STORIES OVER, SO I WON'T BE CONTINUING. OBVIOUSLY. Laugh out loud.


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